Magicland would like to thank all several of the proud papas who brought their kids to the park over Father’s Day weekend for our “Who’s Your Daddy?” event. We’ve collected all the samples, squeezed out the DNA and the official paternity test results are speeding their way back to the families now.
(Via the U.S. Postal Service. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.)
But we don’t want Dads to sweat it out that long, so we’re proud to announce that only three of the fathers tested this weekend were found to be biologically unrelated to their children. That’s a “Who’s Your Daddy?” record! So if you participated this year, your odds are pretty darned good. Kids, that’s (probably) really your old man, and not just some old guy who sleeps in the house. And Dads, you’re still buying those clothes and toys and college tuition bonds for a good reason. Happy Father’s Day to all!
Except the three families, of course, where the news might not be as good. But on the bright side, bring your mismatched test result back to the park any time this summer for a free fried ice cream! How’s that for a silver lining?
(And confidential to the one family whose results came back as “inconclusive”: we all think you’re in the clear, Dad. He’s totally got your eyes.)
So thanks again for making our “Who’s Your Daddy?” extravaganza a huge success. And come back soon to Magicland — where paternity comes to life!